Jeff's Journal

When You’re Having Fun

The monthly report card of treatment arrived. Apparently what we have been doing is not sufficient. I heard the lovely phrase, “We are going to have to go to four and a half hours for our treatment time.” When you’re having fun, why cut it short? And what do they mean when they say "we"? Last I looked, there was only "me" and not a "we" in the chair. I'm not sure when the extended time starts.

I know it is only thirty more minutes a treatment, but it sums to another hour and a half per week hooked up. After a certain point, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturdays are lost days for me so it is not like I’m missing out on anything, but four hours of immobility has to be some kind of human threshold. Then again, I was seated in the middle of coach on a 747 one time on a flight from San Francisco to Tokyo. It was an experience of being in the fetal position until you could not stand it any longer. When the stewardess said we could deboard the plane, I looked at her like she was a midwife. (No, Pamm, she did not swat me on the behind as I went by.)

I don’t think I have Adult ADD, but being still for four hours is a task I do not enjoy. I get restless (and cold) around hour three. I have developed a mental routine that helps me, but that can only go so far. I perfected this technique my first month in Korea. I was part of a Korean church and believe it or not, they only spoke Korean in the worship service. Until I gained some ability in the language, it reminded me of when I went to a charismatic church that spoke in tongues all the time with no interpreter. (The music was meaningful.) The Korean worship experience is more elastic than the typical American service. I remember one day the service had been going for about an hour and one of the deaconesses came to pray for the congregation. She prayed for over an hour. We were standing during the prayer and she would say things that would resonate with the congregation. I had no clue what she prayed for, but many in the congregation were in agreement with her and would respond in unison with a loud “Amen!” Every time I heard “Amen!” I would attempt to sit thinking the prayer was over. After the sixth attempt to sit, I just closed my eyes tighter and waited while I went to work on my endurance technique. Eventually, one of my Korean friends tugged on my sleeve and I opened my eyes. I am not sure how long I was left standing, but at sometime, she had stopped praying and the rest of the congregation had already been seated. The rest of the service continued on for another three hours. I have endurance when I have to use it.

The other thing it is another hour and a half. I wasted more time BD (before dialysis), but I have gained a new appreciation for my time since starting this experience. I don’t know if it is the regimented schedule or a new appreciation for being unfettered. I guess things could be worse and at least I understand most of the language.

posted by Jeff Waldo @ 2:31 PM